Kim DuToit was the token African-American of the revered organisation. He was equally at home discussing the Dreadnought, sales of cereal, or the many uses of squid in sexual relations. His outrageous accent lured untold women to his "Bed of Bliss." He had a friend in Rome named Bigus Dickus. Once a rock and roll icon whose poster adorned the shack of every starving teenager in Africa, Kim traded his driving bass for a driving quill, and looked back only a few times. He currently trades his time between adapting a novel to film and posing as a curious twelve-year-old girl on the Internet.

Jeff Hill was a celebate monk from St. Sade in the Pyrenees. His great great great great grandfather Heinrich von Fotzenputzer established the Society of the Drivers of the Quill in Angstadt in 1751. His portrait can be seen under a blanket in an attic in Terra Haute. In 1996 he was appointed Executive Director of the University of Angstadt's Geschafts aus Herzensangelegenheit. Though he was offered contracts for millions of dollars from nearly every major publishing house in the United States, he steadfastly refused to sell his works. No one, including himself, was really sure what his books are about. He sought a tempting red-headed patroness, or a patronising red-headed temptress.

Tom Morrow was a beancounter from the pampered palaces of Wilmette. As a young man, he served his country by vigorously dipping his quill wherever he was stationed. The only regret of his illustrious military career was that he retired before the Wall came down and all those East German girls became available for indoctrination into capitalism. He co-wrote the love theme to "The Sands of Iwo Jima." He was never published, despite his assersion that character development had a place in science fiction. He had executive-style hair and was happily married to a woman of questionable sanity with a superstructure to justify her infrastructure. They had a darling baby daughter who was raised in cooperation with NASA scientists to command the first interstellar space mission.

Richard Pacheco, after suffering years of relentless taunting by the French, applied for and was granted asylum in the revered organisation. He lives in decadent simplicity on a houseboat in San Diego and smokes cigars like a South American dictator. He has recently been romatically linked to Italian actress Valentina Cervi. His one fear in life is to be held prisoner in a Chinese rug factory.

Alison Perry is the emminently beddable daughter of Edwin Wallace Bledsoe and a descendant of the Pausole Royals of the Sheath. She is a Libra who, when not working, can be found exercising, birdwatching, and changing her mind. She also has been romantically linked to Italian actress Valentina Cervi. She agreed to join our staff only after ruthless and lascivious pursuit by our fine, upstanding members.

Karl Wagner is the founder of a self-help group for fans of The Osmonds. Once a scriptwriter for marionette stage, he retired in shame and horror following a mass pupicide. He gained national prominence by failing to make any money in the runaway stockmarket. His fortune recently turned when his wife left him to join a convent. Today he travels the world in search of good books and bad movies. The only stipulation to his joining our staff was that he would never read The Bridges of Madison County or "anything Oprah recommends."

The Society of the Drivers of the Quill was established in 1751 in Angstadt. When war broke out, the members were forced to flee to Switzerland. They returned, but when war broke out again, they were forced to flee to Switzerland again. They returned, but when war broke out a third time, they were forced into Switzerland a third time. After returning, war broke out once more, and once more they fled to Switzerland, where they hid in a cellar beneath a mountain cabin, surviving for five years on only chocolate, Evian, and small children, until someone informed them the war had ended two years earlier. But their plight drew international attention, and cracks from all over the world came to join. Many prominent characters through history have claimed membership in the revered organisation, including Stephen Daedalus, Eva Braun, Pope Pederast III, and Pierre the French fighter pilot. After surviving the Cold War years exiled in Monte Carlo, Bora Bora, Timbuhktu, and various other locales, the revered organisation has once again returned to its origins in Angstadt, while maintaining branches in no cities. If you are interested in becoming a member of Quilldrivers...get a life.